Tuesday, August 21, 2007

WINNING DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN BEING FIRST...



WINNING DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN BEING FIRST , WINNING MEANS YOU'RE DOING BETTER THAN YOU'VE DONE BEFORE.

It is better to be a lion for a day than...



'It is better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.' -Elizabeth Kenny.

Save Trees

Failure...


I will not say i failed 1000 times, i will say that i discovered there are 1000 ways that can cause failure.
- Thomas Edition

Mistake...


If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, then it means they had never tried a new thing in thier life.
- Einstein

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Feeling

No one Will ever remember how you looked, how you spoke, what you did.
But the only thing they will ever remember is how you made them FEEL.


Coming together is BEGINING, keeping together is PROGRESS,
Living together is LIFE, dieing together is LOVE,
But feeling together is FRIENDSHIP

Treasure the love you receive...

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love.
~ Henry Drummond

Treasure the love you receive above all.It will survive long after your good health has vanished.
~ Og Mandino

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.
~ Pearl S. Buck

Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and stretching the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy.
~ Marguerite De Valois

All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand.
~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark....

Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss!
Her lips suck forth my soul: see, where it flies!
Come Helen, come give me my soul again.
Here will I dwell, for heaven be in these lips,
And all is dross that is not Helena.
~ Christopher Marlowe

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point.
~ Mistinguett

Be plain in dress, and sober in your diet; In short, my deary, kiss me, and be quiet.
~ Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

I never thought that love could feel like this - then you changed my world with just one kiss.
~ N Sync


A kiss, when all is said, what is it?
A rosy dot placed on the "i" in loving;
'Tis a secret told to the mouth instead of to the ear.
~ Edmond Rostand

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth--and endures all the rest.
~ Helen Rowland

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her--when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
~ Helen Rowland

I understand thy kisses, and thou mine,
And that's a feeling disputation.
~ William Shakespeare

Teach not thy lip such scorn, for it was made
For kissing, lady, not for such contempt.
~ William Shakespeare

... a wild dissolving bliss
Over my frame he breathed, approaching near,
And bent his eyes of kindling tenderness
Near mine, and on my lips impressed a lingering kiss,
~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

Welcome to the corporate world!!

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger that
looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached to his bag and
pulled out a pair of Nike shoes.

His friend looked at him "Do you really think those shoes are going to
make you run faster than that tiger?"


I don't have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied. "I just
have to run faster than you".
...
...
..
...
Welcome to the corporate world!!

Friday, August 17, 2007

IN PRISON v/s AT WORK

IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 8 X 10 cell
AT WORK you spend most of your time in a 6 X 8 cubicle

IN PRISON you get three meals a day
AT WORK you only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON you get time off for good behavior
AT WORK you get rewarded for good behavior with more work

IN PRISON a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you
AT WORK you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself

IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games
AT WORK you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON you get your own toilet
AT WORK you have to share.

IN PRISON they allow your friends and family to visit.
AT WORK you cannot even speak to your friends and family unless on a break (when your eating your 1 meal)

IN PRISON all expenses are paid by tax payers with no work required.
AT WORK you pay all expenses to go to work and they deduct taxes to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out
AT WORK you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside the bars.

IN PRISON there are wardens who are often sadistic.
AT WORK they are called managers.

IN PRISON you have unlimited time to read email jokes.
AT WORK you get fired if you get caught.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest....(EXCELLENT)

Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"



2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students



3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public



4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards



5) The Canary islands , in the Pacific Ocean , has its name based on
which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT
Sardar gives up.

If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar's replies, then
please check the answers below:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453

2) The Panama hat is made in Equador

3) The October revolution is celebrated in November

4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.

5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of
the puppies.

Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again. They are also our brothers. As an indian we should respect them.

On behalf of, our punjab battalian who died for our country

Think about youself how deep water in you are.......:) :)

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Romantic Love Quotes: In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything...

What greater thing is there for two human souls that to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
~ George Eliot

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.
~ Mignon McLaughlin


For one human being to love another that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof; the work for which all other work is but preparation.
~ Rainer Maria Rilke

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.
~ Mother Teresa

Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low.
~ Henry Ward Beecher

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Girlfriend version 7.0 to Wife version 1.0. - Tech Support

Dear Tech Support,

==> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend version 7.0 to Wife version 1.0.

==> Soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

==> In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

==> Can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.

==> I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User



Tech Support reply:

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

==> Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM.

==> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0, because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support.

==> It is recommended that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

==> The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

==> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
==> Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean & Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

==> However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.

==> Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software called Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

==> WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.


Best of luck,
Tech Support

Monday, August 6, 2007

You will never let my hand go...



Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Hilarious TV Commercials (EXCELLENT)