tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37636927938291655492024-02-06T18:44:55.686-08:00Nice 'n' Naughty ThoughtsParaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-71480177676286038362008-09-29T07:54:00.000-07:002008-09-29T07:56:27.105-07:00INTERESTING DEFINITIONS!!!School:<br />A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.<br /><br />Life Insurance:<br />A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.<br /><br />Nurse:<br />A person who works up to give you sleeping pills.<br /><br />Love Affairs:<br />Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.<br /><br />Marriage:<br />It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman<br />gains her masters.<br /><br />Divorce:<br />Future tense of Marriage.<br /><br />Tears:<br />The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine<br />water power.<br /><br />Lecture:<br />An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the<br />notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”<br /><br />Conference:<br />The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.<br /><br />Compromise:<br />The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got<br />the biggest piece.<br /><br />Dictionary:<br />A place where success comes before work.<br /><br />Conference Room:<br />A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees<br />later on.<br /><br />Classic:<br />Books, which people praise, but do not read.<br /><br />Smile:<br />A curve that can set a lot of things straight.<br /><br />Office:<br />A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.<br /><br />Yawn:<br />The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.<br /><br />Etc.:<br />A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.<br /><br />Committee:<br />Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing<br />can be done together.<br /><br />Experience:<br />The name men give to their mistakes.<br /><br />Atom Bomb:<br />An invention to end all inventions.<br /><br />Philosopher:<br />A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.<br /><br />Diplomat:<br />A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look<br />forward to the trip.<br /><br />Opportunist:<br />A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.<br /><br />Optimist:<br />A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway “See I am not<br />injured yet.”<br /><br />Miser:<br />A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.<br /><br />Father:<br />A banker provided by nature.<br /><br />Criminal:<br />A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.<br /><br />Boss:<br />Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.<br /><br />Politician:<br />One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.<br /><br />Doctor:<br />A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-52512317858827150872008-09-15T23:55:00.000-07:002008-09-15T23:57:22.631-07:00Men v/s WomanNICKNAMES<br />o If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch,<br />they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.<br />o If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately<br />refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.<br /><br />EATING OUT<br />o When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,<br />even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything<br />smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.<br />o When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.<br /><br />MONEY<br />o A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.<br />o A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.<br /><br />BATHROOMS<br />o A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,<br />shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .<br />o The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.<br />A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.<br /><br />ARGUMENTS<br />o A woman has the last word in any argument.<br />o Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.<br /><br />FUTURE<br />o A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.<br />o A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.<br /><br />SUCCESS<br />o A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.<br />o A successful woman is one who can find such a man.<br /><br />MARRIAGE<br />o A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.<br />o A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.<br /><br />DRESSING UP<br />o A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,<br />answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.<br />o A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.<br /><br />NATURAL<br />o Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.<br />o Women somehow deteriorate during the night.<br /><br />OFFSPRING<br />o Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.<br />She knows about dentist appointments and romances,<br />best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.<br />o A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-73262812921669241102008-09-15T23:54:00.000-07:002008-09-15T23:55:37.407-07:00Career Song - The 8 stages1. When in college : Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaam iyaab ek din…..<br /><br />2. When giving interview to Multi National Company: Tu hi re.. Too hi re ….tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn….<br /><br />3. Waiting for interview result: Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki.. aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki …<br /><br />4. Just joined: Too cheez badi hai mast mast…..<br /><br />5. After some time: Ye kahaan aa gaye hum??<br /><br />6. After some more time: Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi tarang hai, meri jindagi ek kati Pathang hai (booohoooo)<br /><br />7.Floating the resume: kabootar ja ja ja… kabootar ja ja ja… pehele pyar ki peheli chitthi…<br /><br />8.Finally when you don’t get a better offer any longer:Jeena Yehaan, marna Yehaan iske siwa jaana Kahaa….!!!<br /><br />Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitudeParaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-3121873479741493182008-09-15T23:52:00.000-07:002008-09-15T23:54:12.263-07:00Wrong email id@A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room,<br />so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.<br /><br />However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without<br />realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.<br /><br />Meanwhile….Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her<br />husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence<br />messages from relatives and friends.<br /><br />After reading the first message, she fainted. The<br />widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and<br />saw the computer screen which read:<br /><br />To: My Loving Wife<br />Subject: I’ve Reached<br /><br />I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here,<br />and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.<br /><br />I’ve just reached and have been checked in.<br />I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.<br /><br />Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-66280130904698413432008-09-15T23:41:00.000-07:002008-09-15T23:52:36.570-07:00Pronunciation Error!!@!!1) What is the tax on a Mallu’s income called?<br />IngumDax<br /><br />2) Where did the Malayali study?<br />In the ko-liage.<br /><br />3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?<br />He is very bissi.<br /><br />4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?<br />To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.<br /><br />5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?<br />To yearn meney.<br /><br />6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?<br />He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.<br /><br />7) How does a Malayali spell moon?<br />MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen<br /><br />8) What is Malayali management graduate called?<br />Yem Bee Yae.<br /><br />9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?<br />He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.<br /><br />10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office<br />everyday?<br />An Oto<br /><br />11) Where does he pray?<br />In a Temble, Charch and a Maask<br /><br />12) Who is Bruce Lee’s best friend ?<br />A Malaya-Lee of coarse.<br /><br />13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?<br />Kerala.<br /><br />14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?<br />Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and<br />re-tying the lungi<br /><br />15) Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait ?<br />He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say<br />‘KEEP QUWAIT’ ‘KEEP QUWAIT’<br /><br />16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?<br />‘ Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where ‘<br /><br />17) Why aren’t Mals included in hockey and football teams ?<br />Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-322145300577984392008-09-09T08:56:00.000-07:002008-09-09T08:57:48.280-07:00ONE LINERS- everyone needs a laugh...1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.<br /><br />2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.<br /><br />3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.<br /><br />4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.<br /><br />5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.<br /><br />6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..<br /><br />7. Born free, taxed to death.<br /><br />8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.<br /><br />9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.<br /><br />10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.<br /><br />11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting<br />on your pants.<br /><br />12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.<br /><br />13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.<br /><br />14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and<br />the blinking red light.<br /><br />15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented<br />the other three, he was the genius.<br /><br />16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.<br /><br />17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?<br /><br />18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?<br /><br />19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!<br /><br />20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.<br /><br />21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.<br /><br />22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.<br /><br />23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers<br /><br />24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.<br /><br />25. Someday is not a day of the week<br /><br />26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.<br /><br />27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy<br /><br />28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.<br /><br />29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither<br />does Milk.<br /><br />30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.<br /><br />31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive,<br />fattening or married to someone else.Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-61050705455115650602008-08-09T06:59:00.000-07:002008-08-09T07:00:52.389-07:00Go easy with Men!!!Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?<br /> A: Puppies grow up.<br /><br />Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?<br />A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.<br /><br />Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit<br />The ground first?<br />A: Who cares?????…..<br /><br />Q: What did God say after he created man?<br />A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!<br /><br />Q: What’s the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?<br />A: I don’t know, I’ve never seen either.<br /><br />Q: What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?<br />A: i) no mind ii) no business<br /><br />Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?<br />A: Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink…<br /><br />Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?<br />A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no<br />Intention of driving.<br /><br />Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he’s God’s gift?<br />A: Exchange him!!<br /><br />Q: Why do men like smart women?<br /> A: Opposites attract.Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-90269962154087089512008-02-19T03:39:00.000-08:002008-02-19T03:44:19.229-08:00"So Why Am I to Die?" also known as "Death of an Innocent"I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.<br />You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead<br />I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.<br />I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.<br />I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.<br />Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.<br />As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.<br />Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.<br />I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,<br />the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.<br />As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.<br />I'm lying here dying, Mom.... I wish you'd get here soon.<br />How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.<br />There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.<br />I hear the medic say, Mom, I'll die in a short time.<br />I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.<br />It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.<br />He was probably at the same party as I.<br />The only difference is, he drank and I will die.<br />Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.<br />I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.<br />The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.<br />I'm lying here dying and all he can do is stare.<br />Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.<br />And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Baby" on my grave.<br />Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive.<br />If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.<br />My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.<br />Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.<br />I have one last question, Mom, before I say good-bye,<br />"I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?"<br />This is the end Mom<br />I wish I could look you in the eye<br />To say these final words <br /><br /><b>"I LOVE YOU AND...GOODBYE"</b><br /><br />By: Melissa BallParaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-8284213912824046422008-02-18T09:22:00.000-08:002008-02-18T09:26:12.177-08:00Think Before You...........(Beautiful Poem)It's an AMAZING POEM…. Don't know who wrote it… but it's a heart touching poem……<br /><br />Before you think of saying an unkind word <br /><br />Think of someone who can't speak <br /><br />Before you complain about the taste of your food <br /><br />Think of someone who has nothing to eat <br /><br />Before you complain about your husband or wife <br /><br />Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion <br /><br />Today before you complain about life <br /><br />Think of someone who went too early to heaven <br /><br />Before you complain about your children <br /><br />Think of someone who desires children but they're barren <br /><br />Before you argue about your dirty house; someone didn't clean or sweep <br /><br />Think of the people who are living in the streets <br /><br />Before whining about the distance you drive <br /><br />Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet <br /><br />And when you are tired and complain about your job <br /><br />Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job <br /><br />But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another <br /><br />Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker <br /><br />And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down <br /><br />Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around <br /><br /> <br />Life is a gift <br /><br /> Live it... <br /><br /> Enjoy it... <br /><br /> Celebrate it... <br /><br /> And fulfill it.Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-36191500271933265392008-02-18T09:05:00.000-08:002008-02-18T09:08:37.515-08:00Value Relationships!!!!<b>A small touching story.... Mainly for professionals... </b><br /><br /><br />A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door. <br /><br />SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?" <br />DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man. <br /><br />SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?" <br /><br />DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily. <br /><br />SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" <br /><br />DAD: "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour." <br /><br />SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down. <br /><br />SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?" <br /><br />The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed.<br />Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior." <br /><br />The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.<br /><br />The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions.<br />How dare he ask such questions only to get some <br />money? <br /><br />After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to<br />the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. <br /><br />"Are you asleep, son?" He asked. <br /><br />"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy. <br /><br />"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the man.<br /><br /><br />"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.50 you asked for." <br /><br />The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He yelled.<br /><br />Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.<br />The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father. <br /><br /><br />"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled. <br /><br />Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. <br /><br />Daddy, I have Rs. 100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? <br /><br />Please come home early tomorrow I would like to have dinner with you" <br /><br />The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.<br /><br />It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. <br />We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. <br /><br />Do remember to share that Rs.100 worth of your time with someone you <br />Love. <br /><br />If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. <br /><br />But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family. <br /><br /><b>Value Relationships!!!! </b>Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-14086434281607101172008-01-24T10:48:00.000-08:002008-01-24T10:54:07.817-08:00Roles in Heaven (FUNNY)Roles in Heaven: <br /><br /><strong>Brahma </strong><br />Systems Installation <br /><br /><strong>Vishnu</strong> <br />Systems Administration & Support <br /><br /><strong>Lakshmi </strong><br />Finance and Accounts consultant <br /><br /><strong>Saraswati </strong><br />Training and Knowledge Management <br /><br /><strong>Shiva </strong><br />DBA (Crash Specialist) <br /><br /><strong>Ganesh </strong><br />Quality Assuarance & Documentation <br /><br /><strong>Narada </strong><br />Data transfer <br /> <br /><strong>Yama </strong><br />Reorganization,VRS,Redundancy & Downsizing Consultant <br /><br /><strong>Chitragupta </strong><br />IDP & Personal Records <br /><br /><strong>Apsaras </strong><br />Downloadable Viruses <br /><br /><strong>Devas </strong><br />Mainframe Programmers <br /><br /><strong>Surya </strong><br />Solaris Administrator <br /><br /><strong>Rakshasas </strong><br />In house Hackers <br /><br /><strong>Ravan </strong><br />Internet Explorer WWWF <br /><br /><strong>Kumbhakarnan </strong><br />Zombie Process <br /><br /><strong>Lakshman</strong> <br />Support Software and Backup <br /><br /><strong>Hanuman </strong><br />Linux/s390 <br /><br /><strong>Vaali </strong><br />MS Windows <br /><br /><strong>Sugreeva </strong><br />DOS <br /><br /><strong>Jatayu </strong><br />Firewall <br /><br /><strong>Dronacharya </strong><br />System Programmer <br /><br /><strong>Vishwamitra </strong><br />Sr. Manager Projects <br /><br /><strong>Shakuni </strong><br />Annual appraisal & Promotion <br /><br /><strong>Valmiki </strong><br />Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document) <br /><br /><strong>Krishna </strong><br />SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle ) <br /><br /><strong>Dharmaraj Yudhishthira </strong><br />ISO Consultant (CMM level 5) <br /><br /><strong>Arjun </strong><br />Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him) <br /><br /><strong>Abhimanyu </strong><br />Trainee Programmer <br /><br /><strong>Draupadi </strong><br />Motivation & Team building <br /><br /><strong>Bhima </strong><br />MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM <br /><br /><strong>Duryodhana </strong><br />Microsoft product Written in VB <br /><br /><strong>Karna </strong><br />Contract programmer <br /><br /><strong>Dhrutarashtra </strong><br />Visual C++ <br /><br /><strong>Gandhari </strong><br />Dreamweaver <br /><br /><strong>100 Kauravas </strong><br />Microsoft Service Packs and patchesParaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-1883263868987238392008-01-24T10:45:00.000-08:002008-01-24T10:46:37.553-08:00PAPPU FAIL HO GAYA...TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water? <br />PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!! <br />TEACHER : What are you talking about? <br />PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O ! <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- <br /><br /> <br />TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America . <br />PAPPU : Here it is! <br />TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America ? <br />CLASS : PAPPU! <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- <br /><br /> <br />TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"? <br />PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" <br />TEACHER : No, that's wrong <br />PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- <br /><br /> <br />TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I". <br />PAPPU : I is... <br />TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am." <br />PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- <br /><br /> <br />TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?" PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same <br />time." <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- <br /><br /> <br />TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's <br />Cherry tree, <br />but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't <br />punish <br />him?" <br />PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?" <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- <br /><br /> <br />PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt ? <br />FATHER : No. Why do you ask that? <br />PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then? <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- <br /><br /> <br />TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green <br />and one is blue with red spots ! <br />PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that <br />at home. <br /><br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- <br /><br /> <br />TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before <br />eating ? <br />PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. <br />*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- <br /><br /> <br />TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as <br />your brother's. Did you copy his ? <br />PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog ! <br />-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- <br /><br /> <br />TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people <br />are no longer interested? <br />PAPPU: A teacher <br />-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-62305297689242659832008-01-24T10:32:00.000-08:002008-01-24T10:33:37.922-08:00Don't Drink & DRive - Death of an Innocent"So Why Am I to Die?"<br />also known as "Death of an Innocent"<br />By: Melissa Ball <br /><br />I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.<br />You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead<br />I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.<br />I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.<br />I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.<br />Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.<br />As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.<br />Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.<br />I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,<br />the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.<br />As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.<br />I'm lying here dying, Mom.... I wish you'd get here soon.<br />How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.<br />There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.<br />I hear the medic say, Mom, I'll die in a short time.<br />I just wanted to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.<br />It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.<br />He was probably at the same party as I.<br />The only difference is, he drank and I will die.<br />Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.<br />I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.<br />The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.<br />I'm lying here dying and all he can do is stare.<br />Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.<br />And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Baby" on my grave.<br />Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive.<br />If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.<br />My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.<br />Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.<br />I have one last question, Mom, before I say good-bye,<br />"I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?"<br />This is the end Mom<br />I wish I could look you in the eye<br />To say these final words <br /><br />"I LOVE YOU AND...GOODBYE"Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-6356820559966902942007-11-19T07:13:00.000-08:002007-11-19T07:20:51.962-08:00The woman in your life...Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry with these<br />facts as well.<br /><br />Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;<br />Who is earning almost as much as you do;<br /><br />One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as<br />human as you are;<br /><br />One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your<br />Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system<br />that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements<br /><br />One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as<br />much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;<br /><br />One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people<br />who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your<br />family name<br /><br />One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you<br />sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment<br />and that kitchen<br /><br />One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and<br />cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are,<br />maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a<br />cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning<br />just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy<br />at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if<br />she learns faster than you;<br /><br />One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men<br />at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is<br />willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational<br />jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;<br /><br />Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply<br />because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise<br /><br />One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like<br />yours, are to be met;<br /><br />One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important<br />relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her<br />some and trust her;<br /><br />One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she<br />knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities<br />and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.<br /><br />But not many guys understand this. :-(Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-13517810036887831392007-10-11T23:09:00.000-07:002007-10-11T23:12:23.242-07:00Then tomorrow can be too late...If you're mad with someone and nobody's there to fix the situation... You fix it. Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend. And if u doesn't, tomorrow can be too late.<br /> <br />If you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know... <br />tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love with you. And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late. <br /> <br />If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you... <br />tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And if you don't tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too late. <br /><br />If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it. <br />Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late. <br /> <br />If you really have friends who you appreciate... tell them. Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go far away today, tomorrow can be too late. <br /> <br />If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do it. Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel. That if you don't and they leave today, and then tomorrow can be too late.Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-43690296919981279082007-10-03T02:57:00.001-07:002007-10-03T02:57:41.192-07:00Remain forever nearAs we walk our path of life,<br />We meet people everyday.<br />Most are simply met by chance.<br />But, some are sent our way.<br /><br />These become special friends<br />Whose bond we can't explain;<br />The ones who understand us<br />And share our joy and pain.<br /><br />Their love contains no boundaries.<br />So, even we are apart.<br />Their presence enhances us<br />With a warmth felt in the heart.<br /><br />This love becomes a passageway,<br />When even the miles disappear.<br />And so, these friends,God sends our way,<br />Remain forever nearParaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-65975409732098862122007-09-26T01:53:00.000-07:002007-09-26T01:55:14.787-07:00The best excuse for having an affair.The wife came home early to find her husband making <br />love to a beautiful sexy young woman. <br /><br />"You unfaithful, disrespectful jerk! What are you <br />doing? How dare you do this to me the faithful wife, <br />the mother of your children! I'm leaving this house <br />and I want a divorce!" <br /><br />The husband, replied, "Wait! Wait a minute! Before you <br />leave, at least listen to what happened." <br /><br />"It'll be the last thing I will hear from you so make <br />it fast, you cheating creep." <br /><br />"While driving home this young lady asked for a ride. <br />I saw her so defenceless that I went ahead and allowed <br />her into my car. I noticed she was very thin, not well <br />dressed and dirty. She mentioned she had not eaten for <br />three days. Out of compassion, I brought her home and <br />warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night <br />that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll <br />gain more weight. <br /><br />When I served them to her, the poor young thing, <br />practically inhaled them. Since she was dirty I asked <br />her if she'd like to bathe. While she was showering, I <br />noticed her clothes were worn-out and full of holes so <br />I threw them away. <br /><br />Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans <br />that you no longer wear because they're too tight on <br />you, I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our <br />anniversary and you dont wear because I don't have <br />good taste. <br /><br />I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for <br />Christmas that you won't wear just to bother my sister <br />and I also gave her the boots that you bought at the <br />expensive boutique that you never wore again after you <br />saw your co-worker wearing the same pair. <br /><br />After she dressed, I walked the young woman to the <br />door where she turned around and with tears of <br />gratitude streaming down her cheeks, <br /><br />she asked me, "Sir, do you have anything else your wife doesn't use?"Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-82930520779240300952007-08-21T04:20:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:16:56.455-08:00WINNING DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN BEING FIRST...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9z3NaeuLYZLniIagTKSof0sxnE3UfcE2Gy0YtEzDhu0HSzT3Y1Q2VmAHAFTCsq2Vmvmo9ccSE12isbB-gYEclqLcjwbnocPPWawdon0Mab8wg2MrAyUGY7vnO1nAR-l1DBAjLt_SUGyg/s1600-h/winning.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9z3NaeuLYZLniIagTKSof0sxnE3UfcE2Gy0YtEzDhu0HSzT3Y1Q2VmAHAFTCsq2Vmvmo9ccSE12isbB-gYEclqLcjwbnocPPWawdon0Mab8wg2MrAyUGY7vnO1nAR-l1DBAjLt_SUGyg/s400/winning.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5101112712906391474" /></a><br /><br />WINNING DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN BEING FIRST , WINNING MEANS YOU'RE DOING BETTER THAN YOU'VE DONE BEFORE.Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-15852166393113530232007-08-21T04:18:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:16:56.781-08:00It is better to be a lion for a day than...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj7xZ8sT26te1zH1IiLJ0TSqi1San9fgZHRblSfYlpNbBYiK8C5vtaGfST4WSjcRAtIu9fc1RNUyQNWXE-oFPXCJYE2PfacxEooCbE30IXJ3Ry6mVYymRQi6976sIJgrHwyFqGl2Vo6KA/s1600-h/lion.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj7xZ8sT26te1zH1IiLJ0TSqi1San9fgZHRblSfYlpNbBYiK8C5vtaGfST4WSjcRAtIu9fc1RNUyQNWXE-oFPXCJYE2PfacxEooCbE30IXJ3Ry6mVYymRQi6976sIJgrHwyFqGl2Vo6KA/s400/lion.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5101111793783390114" /></a><br /><br />'It is better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.' -Elizabeth Kenny.Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-51552023671898760292007-08-21T02:41:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:16:56.953-08:00Save Trees<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKnvNCyaPHz4SdPlvg2wuMHSB5d9zORAsbZme-wzTw6MA5kVeMy-JMqJnrUQXDSUhNiyAHOq1AS7ectCTdvF2A5Og4lOjdV5IZnVXJZZPW18eArdIPCclrjjFUq5bUkunHTI953GarEx4/s1600-h/save_trees.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKnvNCyaPHz4SdPlvg2wuMHSB5d9zORAsbZme-wzTw6MA5kVeMy-JMqJnrUQXDSUhNiyAHOq1AS7ectCTdvF2A5Og4lOjdV5IZnVXJZZPW18eArdIPCclrjjFUq5bUkunHTI953GarEx4/s400/save_trees.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5101086779893858194" /></a>Paraghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-38310039294531626252007-08-21T02:37:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:16:57.120-08:00Failure...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_FQLMdZoitPcCNd_OLdRB6xEA8lpIWq6dQkqzGYJgRlxs8XW-n4Qk3TRcPkK_RnsW9xGWirdh-a1ay0ZjbjrA-_-wtm5zKfouVzkJaRBE1il4mSVlR2I9u4B6yQiaF95pjyd8nGLW2Ow/s1600-h/discover.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_FQLMdZoitPcCNd_OLdRB6xEA8lpIWq6dQkqzGYJgRlxs8XW-n4Qk3TRcPkK_RnsW9xGWirdh-a1ay0ZjbjrA-_-wtm5zKfouVzkJaRBE1il4mSVlR2I9u4B6yQiaF95pjyd8nGLW2Ow/s400/discover.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5101086268792749954" /></a><br />I will not say i failed 1000 times, i will say that i discovered there are 1000 ways that can cause failure.<br />- Thomas EditionParaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-22732326535106503522007-08-21T02:33:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:16:57.282-08:00Mistake...<a href="#"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQPyhQL1tljP1VIBu0oFoR89L9C3Kz-93VkPWZPHbLGkeswRFGu3KprXRIYiyzfHdGo-Tf-jftqEC9aa9cN7BH6EfQzD-JN6WBH_ce8V5qJxPXhyMaZvK8svHbxCkuPTSFBWdq7QpUaZo/s400/mistake.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5101085396914388850" /></a><br />If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, then it means they had never tried a new thing in thier life.<br />- EinsteinParaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-39376121142810858512007-08-18T23:31:00.000-07:002007-08-18T23:39:07.631-07:00FeelingNo one Will ever remember how you looked, how you spoke, what you did.<br />But the only thing they will ever remember is how you made them FEEL.<br /><br /><br />Coming together is BEGINING, keeping together is PROGRESS,<br />Living together is LIFE, dieing together is LOVE,<br />But feeling together is FRIENDSHIPParaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-82729686623660492182007-08-18T23:23:00.000-07:002007-08-18T23:31:32.080-07:00Treasure the love you receive...You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love. <br />~ Henry Drummond<br /><br />Treasure the love you receive above all.It will survive long after your good health has vanished.<br />~ Og Mandino <br /><br />The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. <br />~ Pearl S. Buck<br /><br />Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and stretching the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy.<br />~ Marguerite De Valois <br /><br />All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand. <br /> ~ Ella Wheeler WilcoxParaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3763692793829165549.post-53918161629701624272007-08-18T23:19:00.000-07:002007-08-18T23:22:53.032-07:00A kiss can be a comma, a question mark....Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss!<br />Her lips suck forth my soul: see, where it flies!<br />Come Helen, come give me my soul again.<br />Here will I dwell, for heaven be in these lips,<br />And all is dross that is not Helena.<br />~ Christopher Marlowe<br /><br />A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point.<br />~ Mistinguett <br /><br />Be plain in dress, and sober in your diet; In short, my deary, kiss me, and be quiet.<br />~ Lady Mary Wortley Montagu <br /><br />I never thought that love could feel like this - then you changed my world with just one kiss. <br />~ N Sync<br /> <br /><br />A kiss, when all is said, what is it?<br />A rosy dot placed on the "i" in loving;<br />'Tis a secret told to the mouth instead of to the ear.<br />~ Edmond Rostand<br /><br />A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth--and endures all the rest.<br />~ Helen Rowland<br /><br />Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her--when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?<br />~ Helen Rowland<br /><br />I understand thy kisses, and thou mine,<br />And that's a feeling disputation.<br />~ William Shakespeare<br /><br />Teach not thy lip such scorn, for it was made<br />For kissing, lady, not for such contempt.<br />~ William Shakespeare<br /><br />... a wild dissolving bliss<br />Over my frame he breathed, approaching near,<br />And bent his eyes of kindling tenderness<br />Near mine, and on my lips impressed a lingering kiss,<br />~ Percy Bysshe ShelleyParaghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00560666315207980742noreply@blogger.com0