o If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
o If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
o When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
o When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
o A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
o A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
o A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
o The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
o A woman has the last word in any argument.
o Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
o A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
o A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
o A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
o A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
o A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
o A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
o A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
o A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
o Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
o Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
o Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances,
best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
o A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
