The best excuse for having an affair.

The wife came home early to find her husband making
love to a beautiful sexy young woman.

"You unfaithful, disrespectful jerk! What are you
doing? How dare you do this to me the faithful wife,
the mother of your children! I'm leaving this house
and I want a divorce!"

The husband, replied, "Wait! Wait a minute! Before you
leave, at least listen to what happened."

"It'll be the last thing I will hear from you so make
it fast, you cheating creep."

"While driving home this young lady asked for a ride.
I saw her so defenceless that I went ahead and allowed
her into my car. I noticed she was very thin, not well
dressed and dirty. She mentioned she had not eaten for
three days. Out of compassion, I brought her home and
warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night
that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll
gain more weight.

When I served them to her, the poor young thing,
practically inhaled them. Since she was dirty I asked
her if she'd like to bathe. While she was showering, I
noticed her clothes were worn-out and full of holes so
I threw them away.

Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans
that you no longer wear because they're too tight on
you, I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our
anniversary and you dont wear because I don't have
good taste.

I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for
Christmas that you won't wear just to bother my sister
and I also gave her the boots that you bought at the
expensive boutique that you never wore again after you
saw your co-worker wearing the same pair.

After she dressed, I walked the young woman to the
door where she turned around and with tears of
gratitude streaming down her cheeks,

she asked me, "Sir, do you have anything else your wife doesn't use?"